So, over the last month I have had a rough time. I started something at school that I knew was gonna be mentally and physically challenging about 4 weeks ago because it was something that I really wanted to do and try and prove to myself, and to everyone else that just because I am sick and not the healthiest person in the world I can overcome things and do certain things that people don’t think I can do or expect me to try at. So I started and the first week wasn’t bad it was just very tiring, which I knew it would be of course. The second week got harder and my Crohn’s started to flare up on me. When this happened I got pretty weak and sick for a couple of days and ended up going to the ER for dehydration and pain from the flare up. They fixed me all up in the ER and I was feeling much better and I went back to the physical thing I had started after some rest. Well at the end of the second week I was told by the people in charge that they did not feel I needed to continue because of my health and that it wouldn’t be fair to other people who are doing the same things I was if I had it easier than them through the process, so I had to quit.
Let me just vent here for a second. First of all its not fair that I have a disease and many other health issues going on that are out of my control. I am not mad or upset that I have so many health problems I have come to terms with that and realized that God is in control of my life and health and He knows what He is doing. If I wasn’t strong enough to handle it I probably would not have it but apparently I am pretty strong. Also, I did not like the fact that the decision was made for me and I did not have a say in the matter. If I was at the point where I said hey I need to quit because I can’t do it anymore than that is a different story, but the decision was made for me. Anyways, I was upset of course not really mad more of an upsetting thing because I wanted it very badly and put my all into it and that wasn’t good enough. This happened 2 weeks ago and I am over it now. I have realized that sometimes things happen that are out of our control and we just have to accept it and move on. Yeah, granted I still wish I was doing it because it meant a lot to me and was something new for me I have accepted everything, and I am not bitter over it. I made great friends and grew closer to those I already had during the process so it was pretty awesome.
I don’t like letting my disease control what I do though because I wanna prove to people that just because I have Crohn’s disease and other things wrong that these diseases do not have me. I rarely ever do not do something because I am sick. I go to class sick, I go out with friends sick, and many other things when I do not feel well just because I don’t want to be controlled by it and to prove that I can beat it. Yes, there are days when I just can’t do things and I do stay in and rest or go on to the doctor but thats when I have had enough and my body can’t take anymore. I am about to post a quote that is probably my favorite one of all because it really hits home with me it says:
Standing in one's own word is perhaps the greatest challenge anyone can have. We all have good reasons to find easier ways, or to change our word to 'better' match our circumstances. It's a rare individual though, that chooses the harder road, that chooses to align their actions with their words rather than the other way 'round. It's inspiring. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thanks for sharing. You embody this quote,"Winners never quit, and quitters never win."You are definitely a winner in my book.